Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Randomize
