lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
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There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
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Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
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