Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
