I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize