Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
