he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
