This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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