3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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