you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
