So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
