it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
