There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
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