We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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