dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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