I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
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yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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