I need help removing her.
she woke up with a sticky ear
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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