i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
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