do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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