I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Panties = found
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
