Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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