woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I am available for nakedness
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
