'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
