His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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