Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
