how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
