Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
