How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
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