A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
third nipple confirmed
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
