i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
