they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
