In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
