my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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