I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
