I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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