Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize