were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
not ubering you a puppy
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize