i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize