She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
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I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
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Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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