ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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