what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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