whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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