I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
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