is your mom at the bar?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
