I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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