Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
