I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
