On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
