Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
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I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
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But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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