chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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