this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
