Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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