Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
