I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
