Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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