Whod you bang
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
do nipples grow back?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
