it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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