I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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