Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
