Dual....:-)
You work out of a Hotel?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
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She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize