Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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