It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
A+ Viking dick
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
