would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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