He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
