Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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