I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
