First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
