two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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