end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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